My day is like a workshop on the consequences of poor decision-making

Along with death and divorce, moving makes up the trinity of what are supposed to be life's most stressful experiences (assuming you don't live on the Florida coast).

- Emma Brockes

Monday On Monday, literally two and a half months after it left the US, my ship came in carrying among other things a large sectional sofa, a 200lb oak bookcase and 84 boxes of assorted personal effects, including an old colander with dried spaghetti stuck to the side and a tea strainer with a hole at the rim. The entire day was like a workshop on the consequences of poor decision-making.

Apart from the books, I hadn't missed any of the stuff and had come to the conclusion I'd be fine if it wound up at the bottom of the ocean. Instead, three men hauled the shipment up three flights of stairs while I dithered in the kitchen, occasionally popping my head round the door to assuage my anxiety by saying things like "at least it's not raining!" and "your job is so hard!" I hate myself sometimes.