Golf and flattery: delicate art of damage control as unlikely pair pretend to get along famously

How the tables have turned. Once upon a time visitors had to fawn over mad King George III and maintain the great pretence that everything was normal. Now it was the prime minister's turn to show deference to a capricious, erratic US president who might blow it all up.

- David Smith

First Keir Starmer, 58th British prime minister (does Liz Truss really count?), and Donald Trump, 45th and 47th US president, sat side by side before the fireplace in the Oval Office. Trump stretched credulity by claiming they "get along famously". Starmer thanked Trump for "changing the conversation" on Ukraine.

Then the prime minister reached into his jacket pocket and produced a letter from King Charles and handed it over (take that, Macron!). A baffled Trump asked: "Am I supposed to read it right now?" Like a schoolchild trying to impress his parents with exam results, Starmer replied: "Yes, please do!" There was a long, agonising silence as Trump studied the letter. Oddly, he wanted to make sure it was signed. "That's quite a signature isn't it - beautiful!"

Starmer told the gathering the letter contained an invitation for Trump's second state visit to Britain. Trump nodded at someone as if to impress on them how important it was. Starmer gushed: "This is really special. This has never happened before." Then, placing a hand on Trump's right arm for effect: "This is unprecedented!"

But there was still some anxiety swimming in the prime minister's stomach. "What I haven't got yet is your answer." Trump responded: "The answer is yes!"