Fantastic fourth All hail the return of League Two, a place where dreams can come true - sort of

All hail the return of League Two, a place where dreams can come true - sort of

- Max Rushden

I am staring at a video posted on X by my beloved Cambridge United. Their stuff is pretty good. It's four days until our League Two campaign begins at home to Cheltenham. "Striker, Acquired" it reads, the video showing a man with a neat beard in baggy jeans wearing the new home shirt. The music is the kind that if it was played too loudly in a confined space, I would instantly get a migraine. OK, these things aren't aimed at me.

The man does some keepie-uppies in bright white trainers. He has an endearing smile. He side-foots a few, points at the camera, leans against a post, rests a ball against his right hip and then smashes a penalty into the roof of the net. Our new saviour is here. The man to score the goals to get us back into League One at the first attempt.

The video does not give us his name, which feels like an oversight or perhaps a generous amount of presumed knowledge. As someone who prides himself (and fills way too much of TalkSport's airtime) at being able to guess the footballer from his Wikipedia page, sadly Dundee United, Broughty Athletic, Northampton, Stevenage has me beaten. Fortunately, the club give us the details with the next post. The man to pin all our hopes on is Mr Louis Appéré.