Dicky changes his tune as he gives with one hand and takes with the other

Call it a Christmas miracle.

- John Crace

For this was the day when Richard Tice sent in his application to become a fully paid-up member of Woke. The day the Reform deputy leader tried to break free from his role as the perennial sidekick. An insignificant blot on the Nigel Farage landscape. When he tried to show he was able to think his own thoughts. Be his own man. Release the closet liberal inside. No longer have to apologise for his existence at the posh dinners he enjoys so much.Yet Dicky will always be Dicky. Unable to escape The Unbearable Lightness of His Being. When he looks in the mirror, even he has to agree there is less than meets the eye. So it was inevitable he crashed and burned as usual. There are just too many contradictions that he can’t reconcile.

But in this festive season, we should try to be charitable. Give Dicky some credit for trying to be his better self. He can’t help it if he’s not very bright.

This was the second Reform press conference in as many days. Perhaps they will be having one every day throughout the festive season. Our cup overfloweth.