How a simple ‘nip and tuck’ turned into a fight for survival

AT 39, Michelle Roniak appears to have it all: a thriving business, a vibrant social life, and a loving family. But beneath the surface lives her all-consuming obsession with physical perfection. Life is a relentless cycle of starving, dieting, and binging. Every day begins with her rejecting what she sees in the mirror: “I need to change this... fix that... If only I could lose five kilos and have a flat stomach... If only my waist were smaller and my smile wider...”

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After a boob job at 21, followed by regular sessions of Botox and fillers over the next two decades, the lure of the surgeon’s aesthetic toolbox finally draws Michelle in. What is meant to be a “nip and tuck” and routine liposuction — performed by a highly recommended surgeon - goes horribly wrong. The complications are disastrous, turning her quest for the ideal body into a brutal war within and a battle for her survival. Michelle's harrowing journey exposes the current global plastic surgery pandemic and unravels the hidden epidemic of shame and silence surrounding cosmetic procedures gone wrong. Her healing from body dysmorphia and botched surgery ultimately becomes Michelle’s own beautiful revolution.

BOOK EXTRACT

MY self-image used to create a constant baseline state of shame and self-hatred. For years, I kept hammering away at wanting to change myself, to be “normal”, to shrink or disappear in order to blend in. It was excruciating work, and my warped quest for flawlessness and perfection sucked me dry.

I was fully aware that my physical issues were not noticeable to most people. I was terrified that my grief over the loss of my once-functioning body would become a laughing matter, that I’d be mocked and derided when people discovered what I had done. I was afraid that I’d be accused of willing it to happen, that I’d be seen as hysterical and/or self-indulgent.

I came to realise that before the botched surgery, I’d had no real voice of my own, despite believing that I was a rebel.