Elevate your leadership with 'radical listening' skills

WE LIVE in a world that seems to be getting busier and busier. Not only do we have our daily work tasks, but we also have more meetings, longer commutes and increased interactions with people in more locations than at any time in the history of work.

- ROBERT BISWAS-DIENER, CHRISTIAN VAN NIEUWERBURGH

In this context, well-developed listening skills are critical. However, in addition to real and present external distractions, many managers and workplace leaders also battle internal obstacles to great listening. Our internal worlds can be loud. At times, they are a blaring noise of emotion, attitude and motives that make it impossible for us to give others our full attention.

Here are four barriers that prevent you from listening well:

Comparing

Sometimes, the topic of a conversation seems to invite you to share your own similar experiences. Rather than appreciating what the speaker is trying to convey, you are mentally reminiscing and preparing to offer your own carefully chosen anecdote.

We call this comparing. To step back from this habit in the moment, think about what the other person is implicitly asking for in the conversation. It might be admiration from you, an acknowledgment of their enthusiasm, or a bit of respect for their work.

Competing

People are social creatures and it is common for friends and colleagues to share challenges they are experiencing. An office mate might say something like: “I’m really struggling to get through my emails. I have over 200 unread emails sitting in my inbox!”

It should be easy to figure out that they are looking for some sympathy or perhaps some ideas for dealing with the overwhelming load. But instead of offering either of these, you respond with: “Just 200? I have over 1 000 emails that I need to respond to!”