Get ready, salted, steady... go

SLICE some potatoes, fry them, dust them in some kind of funny flavouring and, well, Bob’s your uncle, right?

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Surely we don’t need a whole hour of telly to show us how they make crisps.Ah, but it turns out we do. In fact, by the time you get to the end of this documentary, I reckon you'll be desperate for more. “Why haven’t they made this into a series?” you'll be asking. “Channel 5 would have done that.”

For a start, do you know how many bags of crisps are eaten in the UK each week? Ninety million, you're saying? Yeah, OK, clever clogs, lucky guess.