Men are easing into some self-care and pampering

While stereotypical notions of accepted manly behaviour persist, the tide is turning and men are indulging in massages and facials

- Tanisha Saxena

Mayur (he prefers to use a mononym), who is based in Goa, has a detailed self-care routine that involves visiting a spa to get a body massage once a month, and facials twice a month. A cis-het man, Mayur is also used to hearing disparaging comments about his careful routine from people around him. 

“People still say a man isn’t supposed to pamper himself. I don’t pay attention to them because over a period of time, I have realised the value of self-care,” he says. What’s worth pointing out is that Mayur follows this routine every month, despite complaining about how most spas in Goa are expensive. The benefits, he says, outweigh the cost.

“I can feel a lightness in my body after a massage. My muscles are relaxed and I feel rejuvenated. Occasionally, I also go for cupping therapy where your toxic blood is removed and blood circulation improves. I strongly feel that everyone deserves some caring and gender should be a moot point,” says Mayur. He believes that the condescending attitude men face is all thanks to the view that wellness is ‘a women’s thing’. “It is deemed a beautification process for women, which I feel is a very limiting approach.” 

There are many reasons why the idea of men’s wellness is sidelined. Dr. T.R. John, senior consultant of psychiatry, Aster Medcity, Kochi, attributes it to patriarchal attitudes and masculine stereotypes that continue to be fostered. “Socially imbibed concepts like ‘Men don’t cry’, ‘Men need to remain strong’, ‘Emotions are signs of character weakness’ contribute to this reluctance in men to practice any form of self care. Instead of checking in on their physical and emotional well-being, most men turn to alcohol and other drugs which lead to further problems,” Dr John notes.