Coming home to yourself: Love, boundaries, and the power of women

In the Philippines, love is often seen as an all-consuming, all-sacrificing force—a value woven tightly into our cultural and religious fabric.

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From a young age, we were taught the virtue of unconditional giving through teachings like ''Ibigin mo ang iyong kapwa gaya ng iyong sarili (love your neighbor as yourself).” This echoes both Christian and broader Filipino ideals of community, family, and sacrifice.

In our songs, television dramas, and even the advice passed down from elders, love is portrayed as synonymous with selflessness. The enduring trope of the long-suffering woman, ever-patient, quietly bearing hardship and betrayal for the sake of love or family, continues to shape our cultural narra-

tive. She is often glorified for her sacrifices, sometimes pitied for her pain, but rarely empowered to choose herself and walk away.

While the spirit of generosity behind these traits is beautiful, they can sometimes be distorted. When love requires the erasure of self, patience becomes permission for neglect, and endurance becomes a badge of honor for suffering, it ceases to be love and instead becomes martyrdom.

We must not overlook the latter half of the second great commandment: "as you love yourself."