New Finance Minister counts days to top job

IF you're ever worried that you might not be qualified for a job, take inspiration from our new Minister for Finance, Simon “Sure How Hard Can It Be?” Harris!

- JOE O'SHEA

Yes folks, stepping into the role as the guardian of the nation’s finances comes a man who, as far as anybody can tell, hasn't so much as been in charge of a sweet shop and who comes with zero qualifications when it comes to running what we keep being told is “one of the most successful economies in the world”.

And it’s not that Simon dropped out of college to become a full-time politician - there’s plenty of people in the world who have been hugely successful with barely an exam result or “proper education”.

It's just that taking on Finance for a fixed term of just two years - Simon will rotate back in to the top job as Taoiseach in November of 2027 - seems to be a decision taken on the fly, like he looked at Paschal Donohoe skedaddling off and thought; “Feck it, sure I'll give it a go for a coupla years!”.