When doI get my clean chit?

I think ‘toxic’ has become so trendy, it is being misused. This does a disservice to us all: men, women, all those fighting for a better world

- Charles Assisi

I was out last weekend with a couple I am deeply fond of. They are in their 30s, newly married and have an unbridled optimism about their partnership that I have always found heartwarming.

Talking about how they balance personalities, priorities and disagreements, we began to discuss what it means to be a man these days.

The young man went quiet. I know the feeling, of being in somewhat dangerous territory. The young woman voiced stern opinions about toxic masculinity, and I felt like something of a weary veteran, watching from a distance.

‘My life has been full of conversations with women I love deeply, including my wife and daughters, now-ex-girlfriends and close friends, about how hard it is to be a woman. And it is unspeakably hard. Around the world, girls grow up fighting battles grown men would quaver at. The fight can begin before they're born.

‘What causes the weariness in me is that we are often having these conversations with men who aren't part of the problem.