Hol hell as my girl flirted with stags

MY girl was a selfish nightmare on our recent holiday.

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If she wasn’t flirting with waiters, she was parading around the pool in the tiniest bikini.

Her boobs are now so big after two breast enlargements her itsy-bitsy top barely contained them.

On the fifth day she hooked up with a gang of lads on a stag break and become obsessed with following them around. I was left reading my book as she matched them drink-for-drink at the swim-up bar.

Unfit

Booking an all-inclusive package probably wasn’t a great idea but how was I to know she was going to go wild?

If she wasn’t schmoozing with other guys, she was slagging ME off for being unfit and boring.