Boffins' baffling brainstorms f

IT has been the year of the boffin! During 2023, scientists have revealed a host of bizarre research... and the Daily Star battled to keep using the fond moniker for top brainiacs. Yesterday we reported a new study warning Christmas can make you bald. Here JAMES MOORE looks back at some of freakiest findings from eggheads from the past 12 months...

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Size matters:

 A University College London team found a link apparently backing the adage that men who drive fast cars have small willies. Another study found that big-nosed blokes had larger todgers.

Flapping heck: 

Seagulls steal your chips because they watch humans to swot up on which food choices to make, according to a study from the University of Sussex. 

Beer wobbles:

Boozing doesn’t make people seem better looking, according to tippling boffins at the University of Pittsburgh, while Japanese experts said frothy heads on beer make it taste better. Fawlty ivory towers? Classic sitcoms such as ’Allo ’Allo! and Dad’s Army could have caused the attitudes that led to Brexit, historian Prof Gavin Schaffer claimed.

No joke: