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My therapist said I was looking for a pattern, for someone like in my past

Daily Mirror UK

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December 16, 2025

Volatile relationships growing up set a toxic pattern that followed Richa Raval into adult life.

My therapist said I was looking for a pattern, for someone like in my past

Richa, 31, right, says: "It was my first experience of coercive control. It was extremely traumatic, but I didn't realise the impact until I left.

On moving to the US to study aged 17 she had nightmares, lost her appetite and her weight plummeted to 6st 6lb.

At 21 Richa fell for a man at university. She says: "In the beginning, he seemed very charming. There was a lot of lovebombing, showering me with affection and attention.

"He spoke 11 languages, he'd travelled to 90 countries. But he was also extremely intense and controlling. He wanted to talk constantly.

"If I didn't reply for an hour he would say, 'I feel disconnection'."

Within a month he told her he loved her and could see them getting married.

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