THE LAW OF EQUAL EXCHANGE

Growing Up, Losing, and Learning What's Worth It

- By Kiara Wijewardene

There's an idea I can't shake, something that sounds like a rule but feels more like a quiet truth. I call it the law of equal exchange.

At its simplest, it means nothing comes without a cost. For everything you gain, you give up something. For everything you let go of, something eventually comes back. If you look closely, you'll see it everywhere, even in the stories we love. In the 2023 Barbie movie, she leaves behind Barbieland, a place of safety, beauty, and control, to step into the real world, which is unpredictable, painful, and messy. She trades her perfect plastic life for an authentic human one. That is equal exchange: gain always comes with loss, and loss, even when it hurts, clears the way for something real. Once you notice this law, you see it everywhere, in growing up, in relationships, in heartbreak, and in the way we figure out who we are at 20.

LIFE ALWAYS WANTS ITS PRICE

Growing up itself is the first big trade we all make. We leave behind the simplicity of childhood for the confusing freedom of adulthood. It is like that moment in Inside Out when Riley’s memories shift from being pure joy to a mixture of joy and sadness. We lose innocence but gain depth, and it does not stop there. To get independence, you give up certainty. To chase your dream job, you sacrifice comfort. To form new friendships, you sometimes have to let go of old ones. Sometimes it feels unfair, like you are giving everything and getting nothing. But equal exchange does not work like a vending machine. Life does not always hand you the reward immediately. Sometimes the return comes years later, disguised as resilience, perspective, or even just the ability to appreciate what you already have.