Being a child prodigy can be a lucky break - or a nightmare

Years ago, during one of the casual chats in a break between interviews I conducted with Jake White as we worked on his autobiography, the conversation turned to parents pushing their children on the sports field.

- By Craig Ray

I recall White saying that when he watched his sons play rugby, he stood behind the poles and said little to nothing. He disliked the parents screaming, shouting and bullying their boys from the sideline. To paraphrase, he said: “How many boys will go on to be Springboks out of all the grades at one high school in any year? Probably one, if you're lucky.”

His advice was to enjoy watching your children play and encourage them, but don't be pushy. That is sensible advice and I follow it. But is it the best approach if it's clear your child has athletic gifts that could blossom with some pushing?

I ask this because the trial of Gjert Ingebrigtsen in Norway has caught my attention as it raises the fundamental question of where “the line” between support and abuse sits. Gjert is the father of Jakob, the 5,000m and 1,500m Olympic champion, who is one of several talented siblings.

Jakob is the only one of the Ingebrigtsen clan who is a professional and successful runner, mainly, it appears, because he was the only one who thrived (as an athlete, not as a person) under Gjert's allegedly brutal approach. The police brought charges of child abuse against Gjert relating to Jakob and his younger sister, Ingrid. If found guilty, Gjert could be sentenced to six years in prison. He has pleaded not guilty.

The details that have emerged so far in court are bleak, yet distressingly familiar. “My upbringing was closely tied to fear. I've been aware of a fear-based culture for a long time,” Jakob testified. “I was in an environment where everything was controlled and decided for me.”