Flat out on memory lane

HERE'S a woman tonight on LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION (C4) who'd like to buy a flat in central London.

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She’d like it to have plenty of space, so she can do “painting and sewing and stuff”. She’d also like it to be located somewhere handy.

And she'd like it to cost her £100,000. Or preferably less.

Yes, really.

“Are you having a laugh?” you'd expect would be the response from resident house hunters Kirstie Allsopp and Phil Spencer.

Either that, or: “Sure, no problem. Give us 20 minutes and we'll build you one from this delightful shoebox.”

And yet their reaction is nothing of the sort. What they actually tell this lady — whose name is Kate, if you're interested, not that this is remotely relevant — is: “We'll work with the budget. What we can find for the money, we will find.”

At least, that’s what Phil tells her.