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YEARNING FOR CONNECTION: HOW VULNERABILITY IS REDEFINING MODERN DATING APPS

Cape Times

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August 11, 2025

THE dating app landscape is undergoing a radical shift.

- ALYSSIA BIRJALAL

YEARNING FOR CONNECTION: HOW VULNERABILITY IS REDEFINING MODERN DATING APPS

Gone are the days when users play hard to get. Enter the “yearners” — those who embrace vulnerability and wear their romantic intentions on their sleeves.

What is “yearning”?

On dating apps, “yearning” represents a refreshing departure from the norm, as individuals shed the pretence and allow their genuine enthusiasm for a match to shine through.

“It's the opposite of the ‘three-day rule’ mentality,” reveals Anita Fletcher, a respected sex and relationship expert.

Yearners are characterised by their quick responses, thoughtful questions and a willingness to express excitement about the prospect of connecting with someone special.

This emotional openness is the complete opposite of the aloof behaviour that has defined dating culture for years.

While many have welcomed this authentic approach, some people remain locked in the constraints of outdated dating etiquette.

Why has being emotionally aloof become the norm?

The rise of ghosting culture has led to a dating environment where showing interest feels like a risk-laden process with potential rejection.

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