Reframing masculinity

If you are a man of today out on a date with a woman, should you pay for the meal, let her do it, or split the amount? Is the very idea of chivalry sexist?

- CHINTAN GIRISH MODI

Does a man become less attractive if he takes pride in communicating that he will take care of financial matters?

These are genuine questions for men looking for prospective partners because older scripts of what it means to be a man, and a desirable one at that, are being questioned and tweaked. The simple act of getting to know someone can feel complicated due to the voices in your head.

In a new book called Notes on Being a Man, Scott Galloway, a professor of marketing at New York University’s Stern School of Business, writes, “Women may be killing it at work and in higher education, but that doesn't take away from the fact that men still have more economic opportunity and that the gender pay gap exists. So, men, pay for women if you can.” He believes that a man’s “protective instinct should kick in” even if a woman out-earns him.

This advice might sound horribly patronising, or old-fashioned but true, depending on your beliefs but the most rewarding way to read this book is not to accept or reject everything that the author says. It is helpful instead to stay with what he proposes, and take what seems usefull.