Love Bites, Love Kills

My divorce came with a package deal—loneliness, depression and social isolation followed

- Jagisha Arora

"What does it feel like to be lonely? It feels like being hungry: like being hungry when everyone around you is readying for a feast. It feels shameful and alarming, and over time these feelings radiate outwards, making the lonely person increasingly isolated, increasingly estranged. It hurts, in the way that feelings do, and it also has physical consequences that take place invisibly, inside the closed compartments of the body. It advances, is what I'm trying to say, cold as ice and clear as glass, enclosing and engulfing."

THIS quote from Olivia Laing's book The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone, where she ☐ talks about navigating loneliness, resonated with me. The other day, while promoting her new film, Angelina Jolie spoke about dealing with loneliness amid the divorce proceedings with Brad Pitt. She said she felt lonely despite being surrounded by family, friends and her children and that she is still figuring out how to live life on her own. Her words felt personal.

I have always viewed separations in black and white never understood the nuances and layers. Until I had to deal with my divorce. In the beginning, I found myself explaining endlessly to my family about the choice I had made. The constant over-explaining to those who are close to me drained my energy. It was chaotic. However, after everyone went quiet, my own silence began bothering me. It followed me everywhere. Loneliness became my constant companion. It did not make a dramatic entry into my life. The ugly monster sneaked in and stayed.