Quackers about festivities

Just Stop Oil, Extinction Rebellion and the like have remained strangely silent about one of the world's most recalcitrant climate offenders. Nicholas of Bari started out as a nice old clergyman, beloved for his habit of giving secret gifts.

- Jane Clifton

Between them, Coca-Cola and the poet who wrote 'Twas the Night Before Christmas managed to pimp out the once-blameless Greco-Roman do-gooder into the notorious neo-liberal toy-monger, Santa Claus.

Here's a recidivist transgressor against society's mores if ever there was one. He clearly suffers elevated blood pressure and a dangerously high BMI, but has for decades refused to remediate either.

He travels by methane emitting reindeer, thus also exploiting an endangered species. His business model is blatant serial home invasion.

A mass-consumerist who primarily targets children, his North Pole labour practices were surely the blueprint for that modern industrial scourge, the sweat shop.

Modern children remain susceptible to Santa's enticements, even though they know it's not him who brings them presents. It's Amazon.