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Girls wanna have fun

New Zealand Listener

|

July 15 - 21 2023

Just like the boys, the trick is to avoid getting caught. But if you are, it pays to have a good story up your sleeve.

Girls wanna have fun

Do you know who the Mayor of Wellington is? We all do now.

The mayor, Tory Whanau, who will henceforth be known as "Tipsy Tory", went out for a Friday-night dinner with a friend in the capital and arrived, according to the restaurant manager, looking like she'd had a few. She and her mate shared another bottle of wine and ate some kai.

A waiter insists she said: "Do you know who I am?" She insists she didn't. Then she and her mate left without paying the bill.

She was still suffering the effects of her big night out the following Monday when she awoke to find her mayoral mug splashed over the front page of the Post. That's what you call one hell of a hangover.

It is not being tipsy that is the real problem. Anyone who has ever been to the Green Parrot restaurant in Wellington late at night has witnessed politicians, and journos for that matter, tipsy, if not tottering.

It is that accusation of, "Do you know who I am?" that is problematic. You can see why she desperately wants to have not said it. Because what it really says is, "I'm a very important person and you are but a bit of dog poo on the sole of my shoe."

It is within the realms of possibility that, if she did say it, she was joking. It is the sort of thing a tipsy person might think was funny. At the time.

Her deputy, Laurie Foon, stood up for her. "Tory is a very real person who loves to enjoy what Wellington has to offer," she said. Phew. What a relief to learn that she is a real person and not a robot, or whatever is the opposite of a real person. Can a robot get drunk? Or demand, "Do you know who I am?"

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