Bitten by the Dance Bug

MY EXERCISE REGIMEN now includes 40 minutes of vigorous dance in the kitchen just before bedtime.

-  Richard Glover

I leap into the air like a youthful Nureyev, performing a grand jeté to the left and then one to the right. Next it's tap work, madly stamping the ground like a frenzied Fred Astaire.

The cause is a double insect infestation. Pantry moths fill the air; cockroaches scurry across every surface. Both are common here in Australia, particularly during summer. I'm determined to win my battle.

I say the cockroaches 'scurry, but that's not the right word. Rather, it's a brisk, purposeful walk. They have no fear; they own this place. From the dignified manner of their perambulation, I assume they've already contacted my bank and taken over the mortgage.

I have tried traps, of course, which the cockroaches regard as mobile housing, dotted around the place for their convenience. I have tried insecticide, which has a worse effect on me than on them. There are so many cockroaches, I wonder if they'd mind fetching my asthma puffer from my bedroom drawer before I spray.