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START BEFORE YOU FEEL READY

Psychologies UK

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October 2023

Be guided by your desires not by your fears

- Annabel Chown

START BEFORE YOU FEEL READY

Earlier this year, I was offered the chance to teach meditation to a group of women. While I’ve meditated for 20 years, I’m not trained to teach it. Occasionally, I’d weave five minutes of it into one of the yoga classes I host. But the prospect of a regular, hour-long class terrified me.

My friend, Ayala, a very experienced meditation teacher, had been the group’s first choice. She was too busy, so recommended me. The women wanted a trial session first.

‘How on earth will you make it through a whole hour? You’ll probably be a huge disappointment, especially compared to Ayala. I bet they won’t ask you back.’ These were among the thoughts streaming through my mind.

I shared them with Ayala. ‘I think you’re ready,’ she said. ‘But, more importantly, do you want to do this?’

I thought hard about it. I love how meditation connects me to a quiet, spacious place deep within, away from the noise of my thoughts and of day-to-day life. Behind my doubts lay a longing to guide others to that place.

I ask executive coach Lisa Quinn why this critical voice, warning us of all that can go wrong, arises when we consider stepping into unfamiliar territory.

FLERE HISTORIER FRA Psychologies UK

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Most people find it hard to imagine what it feels like to have no group loyalty: to not feel any particular affinity to your nationality, ethnicity, religion, or to your chosen profession, a particular sports team, or your alma mater. These group affiliations form partly because local cultures are diverse, and even small differences can be enough to bind people together — or set them apart.

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As women, we are told to push. Long before childbirth and in almost everything we do. As a result, we tell ourselves to ‘lean in’, ‘hustle’ and ‘keep going’, as we power on through the relentless, back-to-back demands of our daily lives. As we push harder, we sleep less, hoping that somehow our fatigued bodies and foggy minds will catch up. We are so scared to stop.

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time to read

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INTO THE uni mindset

As thousands fly the nest and head off to university, many parents will be anxious about how their kids will cope with living alone as well as studying. After all, when a new study showed that a quarter of uni-aged kids can't even boil an egg, it looks like they've got reason to worry!

time to read

2 mins

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Psychologies UK

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Most of us were taught from a young age to be polite — to smile, to say thank you, to make others feel comfortable.

time to read

3 mins

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Psychologies UK

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FEEL THE FEAR

I gaze out the window as the countryside whizzes by in a green blur. Through my much-loved earphones, I listen to the album Scarlet's Walk by Tori Amos — music that has gotten me through much more difficult experiences than this, I remind myself. Because this — although nerve-wracking — is nothing compared to the challenges I have faced in life so far. Really, giving a talk to a room of strangers around my passion — careers in writing — is pretty straightforward stuff.

time to read

5 mins

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Psychologies UK

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DR ALEX GEORGE: If a food makes you feel bad, that's your body telling you something'

After weighing over 20st and struggling with grief and depression two and a half years ago, Dr Alex George says his ‘diet was poor’, he wasn’t exercising and was ‘consuming too much alcohol and processed foods’.

time to read

3 mins

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Psychologies UK

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Can I finally stand still?

In a new city, in a new life, Caro Giles wonders if she has at last found home

time to read

3 mins

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Psychologies UK

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THE HIDDEN COST OF caring

It’s been raining for days. I fantasise about floating away. We all agree that this wet week feels like the longest week ever. I’m counting down the hours until I can escape to Glasgow and be with Joe, and shut the mother away in a box. All week my two little ones, Tess and Emmie, have been as changeable as the sea, sitting at a piano singing Taylor Swift songs one moment, and brimming with worries the next.

time to read

6 mins

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