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HOW TO CHECK YOUR BLIND SPOTS

Psychologies UK

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June 2024

Learn to look beyond your peripheral vision, widen your perspective, and chase down new challenges, urges Holly Treacy

- Holly Treacy

HOW TO CHECK YOUR BLIND SPOTS

As I navigated the familiar route to pick up my son from nursery, the routine act of checking my -physical blind spots sparked an unexpected line of thought. How many times had I glanced over my shoulder, ensuring safety on the road without a second thought? Yet, in that moment, I found myself pondering the unseen areas of my life, the emotional blind spots that, much like those in my car, might be keeping me safe but also limiting my perspective.

It was a simple drive, yet it led me to a profound realisation - just as my car's blind spots exist to protect me from harm, could there be daily habits and mental patterns acting as my emotional blinkers? Was I unconsciously operating with tunnel vision, focused solely on reaching my metaphorical destination unscathed? The more I reflected, the more I wondered: what aspects of my life had I been overlooking, unintentionally keeping myself confined to a smaller version of what could be?

If I'm honest, it wasn't actually a small life I was afraid of; it was stepping into the fullness of who I could be, and trusting in what I had to offer. I work to present the most confident, positive version of myself, but in truth, I'm often plagued by self-doubt in unknown situations.

Self-doubt, fear of failure, and imposter syndrome can significantly hinder personal growth and success in various aspects of life, according to therapist and author Abby Rawlinson. 'These insecurities can sometimes cause people to live in overdrive, where they do more than is necessary and more than is healthy, driven by a fear of failure or being unmasked as fraudulent,' Rawlinson explains. "They work long hours, frantically people-please, and obsessively over-prepare for things, just to avoid feeling like they're falling short,' she adds.

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Most people find it hard to imagine what it feels like to have no group loyalty: to not feel any particular affinity to your nationality, ethnicity, religion, or to your chosen profession, a particular sports team, or your alma mater. These group affiliations form partly because local cultures are diverse, and even small differences can be enough to bind people together — or set them apart.

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As thousands fly the nest and head off to university, many parents will be anxious about how their kids will cope with living alone as well as studying. After all, when a new study showed that a quarter of uni-aged kids can't even boil an egg, it looks like they've got reason to worry!

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FEEL THE FEAR

I gaze out the window as the countryside whizzes by in a green blur. Through my much-loved earphones, I listen to the album Scarlet's Walk by Tori Amos — music that has gotten me through much more difficult experiences than this, I remind myself. Because this — although nerve-wracking — is nothing compared to the challenges I have faced in life so far. Really, giving a talk to a room of strangers around my passion — careers in writing — is pretty straightforward stuff.

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THE HIDDEN COST OF caring

It’s been raining for days. I fantasise about floating away. We all agree that this wet week feels like the longest week ever. I’m counting down the hours until I can escape to Glasgow and be with Joe, and shut the mother away in a box. All week my two little ones, Tess and Emmie, have been as changeable as the sea, sitting at a piano singing Taylor Swift songs one moment, and brimming with worries the next.

time to read

6 mins

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