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EIGHT RULES FOR TALKING TO YOUR PARTNER ABOUT MONEY

Psychologies UK

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October 2025

Like many, I grew up with the idea that we just don't talk about money, an opinion often delivered with a very disapproving look.

- CAROLINE BUTTERWICK

EIGHT RULES FOR TALKING TO YOUR PARTNER ABOUT MONEY

That sharing how much you earn, or how much you spent on something, or what your ambitions are, just isn't the done thing.

But money is a key part of our lives – everything from how much we bring in, to what we spend it on, and any debts we have.

'We just seem to have this understanding that it's rude to talk about money, and you never ask anybody else any questions,' says Sara Jane Maxwell, a certified professional financial coach and founder of Wealth Coach, who regularly supports couples. She explains that we can feel like everyone else is doing really well, when actually there may be anything from inheritance to debt that's helped your friend pay for that dream holiday you keep seeing photos of.

Maxwell says this lack of openness can then add to our sense of shame if our life doesn't add up this way. 'People tend to really heavily label themselves, and then they feel like they can't share, because they're going to get found out.'

Feeling this way can make it harder to talk honestly about money with our partner. 'When people carry shame about decisions, it makes them less likely to share with their partner information that they hold pretty deeply around money,' Maxwell explains. 'And of course, when two people mash together and form a relationship, they've generally got totally different attitudes to risk, totally different family backgrounds and understanding of things.'

But being able to talk about money with our partner can be incredibly important. Financial difficulties can lead to conflict in relationships, and being able to build trust about the topic can help you navigate any financial challenges with fairness and honesty.

Recognising how difficult it can be, Maxwell shares some of her key tips for talking to your partner about money.

1 Self-reflection

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