My Weekend at Camp Widow

After my husband's death, I desperately searched for support from other widows. Could I find it at a three-day conference at an airport hotel?

- Julie Matlin

IN JANUARY 2024, I lost my husband, Daniel, to a fentanyl overdose. We had been together for 27 years, raised two children and four dogs, bought a home and carved out successful careers. In all that time, I had no clue that he was an addict. Things started to fall apart in early 2023, when, in a horrific sequence of events, I became aware of his substance use, his serial infidelity and his habit of emptying our savings and retirement accounts. For the entirety of our marriage, he had been living a double life. We separated in March and I filed for divorce in May. I was still trying to wrap my head around the multiple betrayals when the police showed up at my door to tell me that he was dead.

Processing so much loss is a near-impossible task. First there was the loss of the man I thought I knew, then the loss of our marriage and our future and then, 10 months later, the loss of my children’s father.

Throughout this time, I was lucky to have a supportive network of friends and family. But still, no one really understood what I was going through. I found myself repeatedly needing to explain my situation—yes, he was an addict; no, I had absolutely no idea. On top of that, there was the stigma that surrounds losing a loved one to addiction. When I told people that Daniel died of an overdose, two of the most common reactions were shock and disbelief that I hadn't known.

Then I learned about Camp Widow. The annual three-day event is hosted by Soaring Spirits Canada, an organization that helps bring widowed people together. Finally, I thought, a chance to meet other women with whom I wouldn’t have to do so much explaining.