Modern Manners

Advice for Your Social Dilemmas

- JENNA BUSH HAGER,ARIEL SULLIVAN

Q MARY ASKS…

I have a friend who is overly generous with gifts. We travel together, dine together, and are enjoying the “third act” of our lives to the fullest! The only issue is that I’m in the season of divesting and purging. I’m grateful for the simplification and peace this process is bringing me. But she loves to shop and shower me with stuff. How do I handle this?

JENNA BUSH HAGER: This is a tough one because obviously your friend is trying to show you she cares via her love language, which is gift giving. I think, if your friendship is as strong as you say it is, you could tell her something like, “You know what, I’m cleaning out like it’s my job, and I’m in this new period of simplifying.”

ARIEL SULLIVAN: It’s awesome that you can identify your friend’s love language! I had a similar experience with one of my friends whose love language is physical touch. She’s a hugger, and I am not. I simply said that to her. Now she threatens to hug me and we make jokes about it! I do think it’s worth having that awkward conversation with the friends you value. And, yeah, if you’re really this close, it’ll be fine! Alternatively, you could just understand that this is how she shares love.

JBH: True. You can open that great regifting closet and stash the gifts until there’s a chance to pass them along to other friends. Let her express love the way she expresses it, and you express it the way you do.

MEG ASKS…