Identity Shift

A major health event can fundamentally transform how you view yourself. Mental wellness experts have advice for finding a new sense of direction.

- Jackie Lam

Katie McKnight, 32, knew breast cancer ran in her family. Her great-grandmother, greataunt, and grandmother on her father’s side all had it. When she tested positive for the BRCA1 gene mutation—linked to a higher risk for developing the disease—she decided to do all she could to stay healthy (eat well, keep active, limit alcohol) and go to regular screenings. Even so, she was not prepared for the life-altering shock when she was diagnosed in September 2020.

“I thought of myself as strong and in control of my health and future,” says McKnight, who learned she had triple-negative breast cancer, which is considered an aggressive form that grows quickly. The environmental scientist feared death but was also angry because she had been living carefully and thoughtfully to stave off the disease. “My diagnosis shattered that sense of who I was.”

The San Francisco native was already grappling with complicated emotions after finding out, one year earlier, she had psoriatic arthritis, a chronic inflammatory disease that affects the joints. "I see my peers and think, I'm not supposed to be in a body that feels 80 years old," she says. "I'm supposed to be able to go on long bike trips and camping and not have to worry about taking medication"-all fears and frustrations that snowballed when she faced cancer as well.