TO BE or NOT TO BE

In today's developed world, young women appear to have more agency than ever before. Yet the unchanging nature of our biological clocks can still amount to pressure and confusion. One writer enlists the help of experts to understand more.

- Words DOMINIQUE YOHANES

“32 in the suburbs is 45 and 32 in the city is 22. I can't explain it but I'm right.”

Some iteration of this amusing—if generalised and somewhat offensive—pop psychology theorem appears on my social media feeds every other month. Though trivial, it's also a viewpoint I can't help but collect evidence for while traversing my 20s.

You see, my life is a tale of two cities. At home in suburban Melbourne, my close-knit circle of childhood friends appears to be ticking off the milestones of traditional adulthood with alarming speed: marriages, mortgages and lately, children. Yet in faster-paced Singapore, I'm an outlier among my friendship group for being vocally resolute about wanting children someday. Our conversations tend to lean more towards solo travel and building careers— children, if any, are to be thought about later.

I often feel anxiously torn between my contrasting spheres. If I know I want children, is it unwise of me to prolong time prioritising work and exploration? On the other hand, the ambitions of my more career-minded peers can leave me feeling precocious for even reflecting on fertility while still in my mid-20s.

Social networks

In truth, birth rates are generally falling across developed nations, including Singapore. Linked to macroeconomic factors including women's increased education and financial independence rates, I reach out to Dr Annabelle Chow, principal clinical psychologist at Annabelle Psychology, for her perspective.