Keeping it Real

How do you tell the difference between real optimism and denial dressed up as motivation?

- WORDS BY CLAUDIA DA SILVA

The line between resilience and repression can blur fast in a culture that rewards endurance, hustle and toughness. What is often promoted as a strong mindset can easily turn into toxic positivity, lowering your emotional intelligence and burying real stress under a forced smile.

TOXIC POSITIVITY VS TRUE OPTIMISM

Optimism is not about pretending everything is fine. It’s about remaining hopeful even if things could go wrong. According to American psychologist and self-help author Dr Martin Seligman, optimism is a key pillar of mental resilience, but only when it’s grounded in reality.

True optimism reframes problems without dismissing them. You're allowed to say “This is tough” while still saying “I can handle it.” It’s about striking a balance between recognising the good and the bad.

Toxic positivity, on the other hand, is essentially a performative attitude. It forces you to suppress negative emotions under the guise of motivation. Expressions such as “It could be worse” or “It’s not the end of the world” become problematic when they invalidate your feelings and experience of a situation.

Neuroscientist Dr Ethan Kross, author of Chatter, points out that emotional suppression blocks one’s ability to problem-solve and limits opportunities to learn from challenges.

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