A Network Executive Writes a Sitcom

Shouts & Murmurs

- By Teddy Wayne

“We have been planning for this,” [Paramount C.E.O. Bob Bakish] told Wall Street analysts . . . speaking to the WGA strike. . . . “We do have many levers to pull.”

—Deadline, May 4th.

“Tipplers”: a situation-comedy teleplay for the 18-34 demographic.

INT. SALOON — NIGHT

The neighborhood watering hole is populated by blue-collar denizens of an untapped metropolitan market (one background extra is Black). In walks FRANKLIN (portly, salt of the earth, non-SAG).

FRANKLIN: Do not even converse with me until I have consumed my first mug of beer.

Laughter from audience—they expect this kind of “ ’tude” from FRANKLIN.

He sits before the barkeep, CHARLES (handsome, magnetic; I could play him for scale), who wipes alcoholic-beverage mugs.

CHARLES: Aren’t things better down at your municipal workplace?

FRANKLIN: Yes, ever since we voted to dissolve our corrupt union. The problem, you see, is my battle-axe— excuse me, my wife. (Audience laughter of recognition) Because tonight is our anniversary, she forbad me from watching the big game with my drinking chums!

CHARLES: Then how are you here? For the ballplayers are about to take their positions!