Heal to Lead - Kelly L. Campbell on why leaders need to let go of their trauma, and how to go about it

Kelly L. Campbell on why leaders need to let go of their trauma, and how to go about it. Whether it’s “Big T” trauma (categories like abuse, growing up in a war-torn area, having parents divorce, or losing a caregiver) or “small t” trauma (feelings of humiliation, abandonment, rejection, or betrayal), they can show up in unexpected ways in our adult lives. One is not more impactful than the other, Campbell told BOSS, and integrating both is important to leading a healthy, sustainable life and career.

- By Damien Martin

Whether you had a rough upbringing or look back fondly on what you recall as a perfect childhood, we all have some trauma that we’ve carried over into adulthood. It’s inevitable. There are experiences that we all have as children that our nervous systems simply weren’t ready to cope with at the time. These get stored in our bodies, and it’s up to us as adults to recognize and integrate them, says Kelly L. Campbell, a certified trauma-informed leadership coach and author of Heal to Lead, a guidebook for leaders to return to their innate wisdom.

Whether it’s “Big T” trauma (categories like abuse, growing up in a war-torn area, having parents divorce, or losing a caregiver) or “small t” trauma (feelings of humiliation, abandonment, rejection, or betrayal), they can show up in unexpected ways in our adult lives. One is not more impactful than the other, Campbell told BOSS, and integrating both is important to leading a healthy, sustainable life and career.

Importance of integration

Life is constantly throwing out challenges, and no matter how protected they are, children are going to come up against something they’re not ready for. To process that as adults, “really, it’s about integrating these things that their nervous systems are unable to cope with at the time,” Campbell said.

In order to do that, we have to recognize the trauma. “That requires a tremendous amount of self-awareness,” they said.

If you as a leader notice, for instance, that you get defensive upon receiving feedback, your response could stem from feelings of inadequacy or “notenoughness” adopted in your formative years.

“You might think about what that feedback is actually pushing on in terms of a button, a soft spot, a tender spot that may correlate to something that you went through in childhood.”