‘Sleepless nights are playing havoc with my online orders'

As someone who has always loved my slumber passionately, I feel its current absence like a thumping heartache. Way back when my children were newborns, the hardest thing I had to do was to navigate life, while tired. Yet here I am, decades later, the same. Except nowadays, wakeful, menopausal me is bleary-eyed, baby-less and armed with an internet-accessing mobile phone.

- Nell Carter

Circa four o’clock in the morning, having discarded the duvet many times, I discard my usual sensibilities too. Up from bed, unsure if I’m hot or cold, exhausted me makes strange online purchases, like silver bathroom sealant and orange wall paint. I tend to wander around the house, thinking it’s as tired as I am. I pick at dead flecks of paint and order brave new shades. During my witching hour, silver and orange work together.

I come up with hare-brained ideas for Dragons’ Den submissions, which, I realise later, already exist in the real world. Of course they do – but for a few brief drowsy seconds, there’s the possibility I may have invented Post-its…