How To Cope With Tricky Relationships

Difficult boss? Friend ignoring you? Our agony aunt, Keren Smedley, is here to help you put things right

- Olivia Greenway

The best friend who dumps you

Standing in the supermarket with a full trolley, I saw my friend Angela entering the shop. I smiled, feeling certain that she saw me – she was looking straight at me. But instead of responding, she reached down for a basket, turned her back and disappeared quickly down an aisle. If this had been an isolated incident, I would have told myself that she probably hadn’t seen me. But it was the final nail in our friendship coffin.

We’d been best friends for around 10 years. We met once a month, usually for a meal. Sometimes it was just the two of us, but often we met with our respective partners. We celebrated our birthdays together, and spoke on the phone regularly.

Then I separated from my husband. Angela was supportive about my break-up, but when my new man arrived on the scene, things started to slide. Whether this was coincidence or not, I have no idea. It shouldn’t have affected our friendship, surely? She would arrange to meet up with me several times, then cancel at short notice. I sent her a birthday card, but she ‘forgot’ mine, and then no Christmas card arrived either.

I had no problem particularly with Angela not wanting to be friends with me any more. But I really wish she’d just had the courage to tell me, to save all the anxiety she caused. I felt she owed it to me. These days, I am much more wary of being too friendly with just one person and spread myself about a bit. I still have two good friends who live far away, but locally, I don’t have a best friend any more.

Is there something that I should have done – or had our relationship simply run its course?

Olivia, 64, London