HOW TO LAMENT

JENNIE MCLAURIN, MD, MPH, gives instructions to guide a rediscovery of this age-old tradition.

- JENNIE MCLAURIN

“He that lacks time to mourn, lacks time to mend.” —SIR HENRY TAYLOR

THOUGH LAMENT IS an ancient word, tied to religion, ritual, and tradition, most of us aren’t familiar with it in a practical sense. Yet, we are called to honor the losses, injuries, and injustices we’ve experienced in society, family, and relationships. Whether we are perpetrator or victim, to engage in lament is a powerful first step in healing and restoration.

How do we actually go about lamenting? Perhaps some images come to mind—a toddler writhing on the floor after being denied candy; a bitter coworker loudly complaining about the unfair workplace; a biblical figure in sackcloth and ashes. None of these are what we want to model, but each does have useful aspects.

Lament, as a spiritually healing practice, is a communal experience. The scenarios above are about individuals, but lament acknowledges shared harm, sometimes across generations and cultures. It is also particular and passionate—it involves an embodied response, with physical and sensory incorporation of the anguish expressed together in trusted companionship. The four stages of preparation, engagement, gathering, and going forth assist in the creation of a practice of structured lament.

PREPARATION