Dossier: Let It Go

How do you liberate yourself from a grudge, anger over a relationship, past pain or an old belief that no longer serves you? Is there a map to letting go with grace? Anita Chaudhuri talks to the experts about acceptance, surrender and finding a way to release what keeps you stuck.

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Take our test to discover what might be stopping you letting go and be inspired by a reader who found a way to move on from feelings of betrayal, hurt and rejection. Remember, you don’t have to do it alone. Respected coach Karin Weiser is running a free course for all our subscribers, ‘Get unstuck: How to let go of limiting beliefs’. Join us!

Free yourself from the past

Anita Chaudhuri explores the concept of leaving behind old beliefs and grievances and choosing a new path, without the burden of what’s gone before on your shoulders

When you hear the word forgiveness, what is the first image that pops into your head? For me, it is a mother who has lost a child and is being interviewed on the news. The circumstances of her tragedy will vary – it may have been a terrorist attack, or that her child was a victim of the UK’s knife-crime epidemic – but the content is the same. The mother, as mothers often do under such circumstances, will speak about her need to forgive the perpetrators in order to foster greater compassion and understanding in the world.

I’m always humbled by these strong, brave-hearted women who have the courage to release their anger and resentment in times of great suffering. Humbled but also, if I’m honest, a bit ashamed. If they can make such a leap, why am I still harbouring a grudge against someone I worked for 22 years ago? The person in question behaved in a less-than-kind way towards me and nearly cost me my job. The only reason they didn’t was that I had already decided to resign. My life has moved on since then, obviously – so why do I still find myself thinking about that person, gnawing on an old bone to try and extract some juice from it?