The Best Bagels in the World?

They might be on Long Island.

- JASON DIAMOND

An everything bagel from Bagel Boss.

ON A RECENT Sunday morning, I was doing something I've done on many weekends over the past few years: driving my 2014 Jetta eastward along I-495 toward the Jericho Turnpike, feeling slightly ashamed. I asked myself, as I always do during these drives, whether I was betraying some sense of loyalty to New York City. I wondered what compelled me to go out to Long Island, but I already knew the answer: I wanted some bagels.

When I got to Hicksville, I pulled into the parking lot for Bagel Boss. There is usually a line, and this morning was no different. I stood behind a woman who looked like Lady Gaga's House of Gucci character if she'd been played by Susie Essman. Behind me, an older man with a beard was yelling "No" repeatedly into his flip phone. We were all there for the same reason, but I'm certain I was the only one who felt bad about it.

The line was moving slowly, so the Essman look-alike and I got to talking. "Why would you feel bad?" she asked after I admitted my guilt. "These are the best bagels in the world-everybody knows that." So assured was she in her belief that I didn't dare tell her that, no, hardly anybody knows Long Island is where you go for the best bagels in the world.

Sure, I've heard people from Long Island tell me the bagels were better out there, but to be fair, I've heard people from Long Island tell me a lot of things are better out there. I might never have found out for myself if I hadn't come across Bagel Boss's T-shirts, Grateful Dead designs where they swap out the Steal Your Face logo with a bagel or give the dancing bears one to hold. I'm a sucker for merch, so I drove out and figured I'd get a bagel since I was there anyway.