The Storm Inside

How the popular ABC News chief meteorologist and TV personality finally found the courage to face up to her crippling depression.

- Ginger Zee

As a meteorologist on tv, I’ve covered every natural disaster from Katrina on. Hurricanes, floods, tornadoes, wildfires—I’ve reported on them all, and one thing I’ve seen firsthand is how people rebound, no matter the devastation. They take stock, draw on their faith, rebuild and grow because they’ve faced the worst. Often they are the first people to reach out and help when others are suffering.

In my own life, I’ve struggled with a different sort of natural disaster— devastating bouts of depression. The first struck when I was 22, a recent college grad looking for a job in television meteorology. I know now that transitions can be a trigger for major depression. Back then I couldn’t understand why I felt life wasn’t worth living. As if I were a prisoner in a strange dark room without even a hint of light. Fora long time, I ran away from depression. I’d try to escape by throwing myself into a relationship with the wrong guy or telling myself that a few glasses of wine were all I needed to cheer up. I saw therapists, but they didn’t help much because I wasn’t willing to be completely honest with myself or them.

I’m a people pleaser, and it was as if I had to please even the therapists. I’d tell them what I thought they wanted to hear. I’m sure it looked like I was a big success as a broadcaster, going straight from college to one job after another, moving to bigger markets, from Grand Rapids to Chicago and now New York. ABC News had just hired me to be the weekend meteorologist on Good Morning America. It was all I’d dreamed of and prayed for, all that I’d worked so hard to achieve. Yet I felt empty inside.