'What Happens When Consensual Sex Becomes Questionable?'

In the wake of Aziz Ansari’s sexual assault scandal, Aussie scriptwriter Sall Grover wades into the seriously grey area

- Sall Grover

AFTER WAKING UP covered in bruises from a night of consensual sex with a man I’d been dating, I decided to talk to him about it. But I didn’t realise that voicing my opinion was going to make me feel even worse.

Bringing up said bruises wasn’t an easy decision. It happened months before the ‘Me Too’ movement had begun, and even then I didn’t want to sound like I was accusing him of something that he didn’t do. He didn’t attack me. He didn’t assault me. We were having fun but on this one occasion he was rougher than I was expecting and I wanted him to know that I was not OK with any behaviour that led to me turning black and blue. I needed to set some parameters and I wanted an apology.