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Beyond Obesity
Men's Health US
|January - February 2024
Ozempic! AirSculpt! Body positivity! The revolution in how we gain and lose weight and how we think about gaining and losing weight is just beginning.
MY GOAL IS TO SEE as low a number as possible, so I take no chances. I do not wear clothes when I weigh myself. I use the toilet beforehand but do not drink any water. Sometimes I even suck in my gut while standing on the scale, as if rearranging my torso to look more superficially flattering will somehow change the number glowing back at me. I have an ideal weight in mind for myself: 210. The scale rarely, if ever, hits this magic number. When it goes higher, particularly if it nears 220, my brain instinctively conducts a mental inventory of the previous day's eating, looking for the primary culprit. It was the cookies. You had too many cookies. Today you will not eat cookies.
And then I begin my day with the appropriate amount of shame.
This routine constitutes progress for me. I am healthy for my age (47), although I didn't arrive at this point without a struggle. I was an overweight child who never weighed myself because I knew what I'd have to confront if I did. The word husky still triggers me. I still have stretch marks on my sides from my love handles breaking contain. I still have breast tissue. I went to a weight-loss program in middle school that accomplished nothing except making me feel like I was at fat camp. I topped the dreaded scale at 280 in college, then dropped back down to 200, then gained 60 of it back more than a decade later, and then dropped the weight again. I have tried fad diets, exercise, posting my weight daily on social media, calorie counting, intermittent fasting, you name it. Some of those weight-loss schemes worked, others did not. In the end, always in the end, the scale served as the final arbiter of how much that month's scheme had succeeded. How much I had succeeded. I needed that scale. I fucking hated that scale, and still do.
Denne historien er fra January - February 2024-utgaven av Men's Health US.
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