6 Secrets Of Forever Couples

In times when ever-afters fade faster than you can spell l-o-v-e, Esther Perel reveals how you can make your relationship last, and play for keeps...

- Esther Perel

Forever used to mean ‘till death do us part’. These days, though, it seems many people interpret it as ‘until love dies’. But despite the fact that so many marriages end in divorce, staying together for many, many years is possible. It just takes work, self-awareness, and communication. Here’s what long-haul couples know:

SECRET 1

THEY’RE PRACTICAL ABOUT WHAT MATTERS

Truth: you can love someone who you’ve had a beautiful three-month fling...or someone you watch movies with, and talk about music. There are many kinds of love—and some types aren’t meant to last; they’re developmental life experiences meant to help you grow and decide what you need and want in a long-term relationship. When you find that partner, your future can’t be built on just passion—you also need shared values and a vision of the kind of life you’d like to lead. In other words, forever couples have similar answers to questions like, ‘Do I want children?’. Not just, ‘Where should we go for dinner tonight?’.

SECRET 2

THEY CHECK-IN WITH EACH OTHER...OFTEN