Romance or Horror?

- Hemchhaya De

Rajashri Sen* is not really interested in marriage. The 28-year-old aspiring theatre actor lives with her boyfriend in Kolkata. “We are open to the fact that it may not lead to a committed arrangement,” she says. “In fact, frankly speaking, I am a bit scared about getting tied to any long-term relationship where I could lose my freedom.”

Unlike Rajashri, Sonali Ray*, a banking professional based in Mumbai, went along the traditional route initially; she had an arranged marriage, but it was traumatic, abusive and short lived. After walking out of the marriage, she had some flings. At the moment, Ray is seeing someone who, she feels, is getting too serious about their relationship. “I have become a commitment-phobe. Thanks to my past experience, I am scared to get into any kind of committed relationship,” she says, adding that she is even thinking of breaking up with her boyfriend because he is keen on setting long-term goals for them.

Sen and Ray are not alone. Social commentators and relationship counsellors say that more and more people across India are showing signs of relationship anxiety or commitment phobia. Some even call the phenomenon ‘relationship ambiguity’. Simply put, it’s the fear of staying on for long in a relationship. This may sound like a plot point from a frothy rom-com, but it’s a very real experience of fear and anxiety.