Being Stepmom

Step-parenting can be a delicate business, but you can create a happy blended family with a little love, trust and patience.

- Anika Mohla

Anita Dua divorced her husband four years ago. Vimal Sharma lost his wife in a car accident seven years back. Dua and Sharma plan to marry each other this year. The only thing that worries her is will she get along with Sharma’s six-year-old daughter. “I know I’ll not be able to replace the biological mother, but she’ll soon be around a new adult in the family. I would like to help her go through this transition smoothly, but I just don’t know how,” says Dua.

With more people like Dua and Sharma—single, divorced or widowed— getting married for the second time, there are new blended families being born in India all the time. But co-parenting comes with its own set of challenges and rewards, and hence its own set of rules.

WHAT TO EXPECT

“Do not expect it to be a smooth ride in the beginning. The child may see you as competition, disrespect you or even compare you with her own mother,” says family counsellor Dr Richa Khetawat. In such a case, a positive outlook and building a bond with the larger family goes a long way in ensuring that the child starts accepting you.