Rise Of The Machines

Artificial wave becomes self-aware, attacks patrons

- Todd Prodanovich

WICHITA, Kan. — FLYover Surf, the newly opened artificial-wave park in Wichita, Kan., had to close its doors after the computer program used to control the size and shape of the wave suffered an “existential malfunction,” according to staff.

“My son Timmy and I were in the pool surfing the left, just waiting for one of those ruler-edge-perfect tubes we’d seen on FLYover’s Instagram, and then it happened,” says visiting Gulf Coast surfer Ron Jenkinson. “A 20-footer came out of nowhere and broke right on top of us. It washed Timmy and me all the way out of the pool and clear past the hot-dog stand — nearly killed us!”