Nikki DeLoach shares her emotional caregiver journey

When Hallmark Channel actress Nikki DeLoach got the shattering news of her father's dementia diagnosis and her unborn son's congenital heart defects in the same week, she didn't know how she'd make it through. But she soon learned the power of asking for help-and now helps other caregivers do the same

- ABBEY BENDER

As one of the Hallmark Channel's most beloved stars, Nikki DeLoach, 45, knows a thing or two about embracing life's comforts and joys. But offscreen, she's fought her share of devastating battles and has worked hard to find positivity in the most trying moments.

"In 2017, my father, David, was diagnosed with Pick's disease, which is a rare and aggressive form of dementia," Nikki recalls. "That same week, I found out that my unborn baby had multiple congenital heart defects and without intervention at birth, he would not survive. My life was turned upside down."

Nikki began helping her mother, Terri, care for her father, while Nikki also cared for her infant son, Bennett, after his lifesaving surgery. "I didn't know how to ask for help. I didn't know how to take care of myself. I was like every other woman out there who was like, 'I'll sleep when I'm dead.' I was making sure that everyone survived while I was dying." But in a therapy session, Nikki had a life-changing epiphany: "The therapist looked at me and said, 'You're taking care of all these people, but who's taking care of you?' My answer to him was... 'No one.'"

The power of simple questions

"There are so many instances where no one is asking the caregiver, 'Hey, have you eaten today? Can I get you something to eat?' Or, 'Hey, how are you feeling today? Is there something I can do for you? Is there something I can take off your plate?"" Nikki says. "I learned that we have to teach people how to show up for us, and we also have to learn to ask those questions of ourselves. We have to stop being martyrs in the journey of caregiving and save ourselves too," she adds. "We have to learn how to take care of ourselves with the same compassion we have for others, and a giant part of that is asking for help."