Here to help

LET COUNSELLOR KEREN LIGHTEN YOUR LOAD

- 

I feel guilty spending

Q I feel guilty every time I spend money on myself, even for small things like a coffee or new lipstick. However, we can afford for me to do this.

Melissa, Birmingham

A I wonder how good you are at buying things for others? I think you probably have two sets of beliefs. When it comes to buying something for yourself, you probably feel that you don't deserve it or it's selfish to spend it on yourself. What you need is a reframe, and to see these purchases as a way to improve your wellbeing and sense of contentment. The happier you are, the better it is for others around you. So, by purchasing a few things for yourself, you'll be doing everyone a service!

Lonely in my marriage

Q I've been married for 15 years and on the surface everything looks fine. But inside I feel lonely and sad. We only talk about the kids, things we need to do and bills. I miss feeling connected and I don't know how to say this without causing a row. Is this what marriage becomes and I just have to accept it?

Name and address withheld