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Do I help her or not?

QMy daughter is 44 and decided recently that, as she hasn't met a partner, she wanted a baby on her own. She said she'd be fine but, sadly, her baby has some issues and my daughter is struggling to cope. I am torn, as I don't want to spend my life as a nanny but I know while I'm having fun, she's going under. When do you stop bailing your children out?
Caro, East Sussex

AI'm sorry that things haven't worked out as planned and I hope your grandchild starts to thrive. It sounds from what you've said that you feel there are only two alternatives – full-on childcare or none. But I think there's a middle way. Ask your daughter when she needs the most help, leaving you free to have fun at other times. It's bound to be a compromise for a while as the baby settles but, gradually, your daughter should establish a routine. Also, explore with her if there is anyone else who can support her, and whether she could get some professional help.

Feeling left out