Modera Dating

Balancing tradition and freedom in the Indian dating scene.

- Lasya Shashimohan

Caught between the traditions of arranged marriages and the emergence of free thought dating is yet to come of age in India. Though men are ready to date random women, a majority of them prefer trusting their parents when it comes to choosing a life partner. Though there are couples who have bonded organically and have decided to settle down, meeting people through friends or an app comes with its own set of challenges.

In a culture where patriarchy permeates every conceivable pore of even "liberal" individuals, the freedom of a woman to make her own life choices is often met with dubiousness, negative judgments and a certain level of presumptuousness regarding her character. Also, in a society where men are pressured to surpass their partners in every possible way, a high-achieving woman may be perceived as intimidating by many men.

However, nothing is set in stone and life is full of pleasant surprises. Below are a few dating tips for the modern Indian woman to navigate the world of dating and relationships.

Know Yourself: It's pointless to look for a partner unless you know yourself fully. Who are you really beneath the cloak of conditioning, belief systems and choice of profession? What are your likes and dislikes, wants and desires? Is your current job bringing you fulfilment or would you like to explore other options? Meditation, journaling and solo travelling are great ways to get to know yourself better so that you can achieve clarity on what kind of a partner you want. Heal past traumas and avoid bringing baggage to your new relationship.