13 & Thinking

Varying shades of adolescence.

- By Dr. Reema Bansal

My son will turn thirteen and officially become a teenager this April. Every year, we host a small birthday party for his friends, and every year, he and his toofanmail buddies create enough chaos for me to declare with conviction, “No birthday party next year!” But then, without fail, every April, his innocent, pleading glances melt my heart. Uff ye motherhood!

Puberty has started setting in earlier than it did in olden times. Adolescence is a period of storm and stress, as said by G. Stanley Hall in his book Adolescence. What he meant was that this is a phase of extensive changes, which also create significant stress for the individual. I am myself grappling and learning along the way how to manage these teenage blues in my son.

For instance, as is characteristic of his age group, he is fixated on his physical appearance. Whenever we have to go out—even if it’s a casual outing—he asks umpteen times, “Mom, how do I look?” He has put up diet charts and exercise schedules on his almirah and regularly picks up dumbbells, etc., while the mother in me is always concerned, lest he overdoes the rituals and regimes!